Wednesday

The Rapist's Victim

I want you to know that it's nothing personal. Funny how that was what you said to me too. Oh well, life can be very funny if you have a sense of humor.
So how would you like it done? Medium rare? Rare? Or perhaps you'd like it well done just like the job you did.
You have such beautiful eyes, did anyone every tell you that? I just love the way they watch my every move just like they watched my every move before.
Your skin is so rough. Perhaps you'd like me to do some exfoliation for you? The same one you did for me?
What does it feel like to be on the other side for once?

I miss your voice. But I guess it's hard to talk without your tongue.
It's only going to hurt a little, I promise...just like how you promised me too...

...

You're bleeding.
That excites me. I can smell your fear and it empowers me.
I'm just going to exfoliate you a little more with this sandpaper.
Oh your penis will be done in just another second and then we can eat.

...

I did it because no one else would. I wanted him to feel pain, humiliation and fear.
They thank me after that you know. The women, those that suffered.
I'm not sorry.

Entry two

The Chance Meeting that Wasn't
The tailor must have been thoroughly scandalised by my behavior today, but if he was, he certainly didn't show it. I'd gone to get my newly made turquoise dress which was entirely too form-fitting to be considered descent when who should walk in bold as day but HIM. It was entirely unexpected so much so that I got into such a fluster and dropped the cloth I was looking at. He gave me a bemused smile and casually as you pleased, walked right up to me and picked up the material I was looking at and told me it'd look good on me. Then he happily took the dress from the tailor and insisted that I try it on and then, after I did, refused to let me change out of it. After that, he even ordered a couple more dresses from the tailor for me and made a suit for himself. Perhaps he was impressed by the tailor's workmanship or perhaps he simply wanted to create more chances for us to meet, either way, I wasn't about to complain.
After paying for the dresses, he sent his secretary off before ushering me into his car and driving us to a secluded restaurant in the suburbs without even asking if I wanted to go. He was certainly a man who was used to getting his own way, and I wasn't about to refuse him. I was intrigued if not amused.
The restaurant he took me to was one of great ambience but terrible food though I didn't noticed it at that time as he was simply too mesmerising. He was not only smart, but funny as well. On top of that, he also carried with him such an air of danger that could only draw me like a moth to a flame. We talked about everything, mainly he asked me a series of questions and I tried to be ellusive. In the end of course I'm sure he could tell more about me by my silence then anything I could have said.
It was late when we got to my place. We paused at the door uncertain of what would happen next but his caution won and he decided to leave.


Tuesday

Diary of a wartime mistress - Entry 1

The day we first met

I remember it vividly. It was some time after Shanghai had fallen and the Japanese were already running the city (most efficiently too I might add). The rich without a conscience were given yet more opportunities to get richer off the now war-torn but still broken backs of the poor who were now dying like flies.
I was playing mahjong with the high society ladies when he walked into the room. He didn't notice me at first but it didn't take him long to turn his full attention to me. It was unnerving at first because he radiated so much power but then, it got interesting and I couldn't find it in me to resist his covert advances.

Saturday

a short one

Dishpan dolly does the dishes most dilligently darhhhling.
Wednesday

In His Opinion

He watched as she walked briskly down the narrow corridor, he skirt swishing against her legs as she moved. The sun shone down illuminating her golden highlights which were definitely against the rules, she pushed her fringe back in frustration and managed a tiny frown before disappearing round the corner. His heart pounded as he quickly got up to follow her, it would be hard to keep track of her today as their time-tables differed greatly.

It was the first day of a new school year and he was feeling grouchy because he had an argument with his mother that morning about his shoes so he really didn't watch where he was going. That was the first time they met. He walked right into her but didn't bother to apologise. She frowned, an expression he would later come to know well, but didn't say anything. He almost expected her to go on about what being a gentleman was all about but she just stood there. After what seemed like an eternity of silence, he mumbled something that passed for an apology but almost at the same moment she started asking for directions to the Administrative Office. As he pointed her in the direction of the office, he could not help but feel a rise in his spirits as the thoughts of 'fresh meat' ran round in his head.

He managed just one last glimpse before she disappeared into her class. He smiled to himself as he walked past her class, thoughts about their first meeting always made him smile even though that was two years ago. Soon he would be graduating and that meant no more chance encounters or passing glimpses. He had to find a way to make it into something more than just this, besides, he was getting tired of these little tid-bits, he wanted more.

"Boy, why are you sitting here?" That was the first time she ever spoke to him, he was careless that one time because he had wanted to see her so badly. He had followed her from the labs but she suddenly disappeared round the corner and figuring that she must have gone to the bathroom, he sat down in the corridor and waited, forgetting all at once that he was in school and not some random shopping mall. That was how she caught him, so he panicked and did the only thing that came to mind and feigned a stomachache. On hindsight, that might have been the most brilliant plan ever because she actually helped him up and brought him to the sick bay. Eversince that incident, he'd learned to be more careful in case the next time his wits or worse yet, his luck failed him.

A week passed and soon, a month before a plan finally emerged. He was going to execute it that very day but she beat him to it by executing one of her own. She would be leaving at the end of the year to further her studies overseas. His world fell apart then, for he couldn't bear the thought of going through school without her. All the blood drained from his face and he felt faint and light-headed, and pretty soon he found himself on the ground looking up into the blue, cloudless sky. For a moment nothing existed except the roaring of the wind in his ears and the faint feeling of dispair and then a pair of beautiful hazel eyes appeared in his vision, the eyes soon gave way to a button nose and full lips. He blinked several times before registering the little heart-shaped face he was looking at and then darkness.
He woke in his own room, so it was a dream after all. What a relief! He would be able to put his plan into action after all and she would finally be his and only his. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table, 'six o'clock' plenty of time to get out of bed and get ready for school.

He often wondered if this was wrong of him and that maybe he should speak to the counsellor to get some help. After all, in most cultures, this would be and could be called 'stalking' and in such cases, his attentions would most certainly be unwelcome. These moments were thankfully few and far between. So he continued his quiet game, watching her from afar and making up things in his head about the possibilities and then letting himself believe that these were a reality. By the end of the year, she already belonged to him even though it was only he who knew it. He would find himself unduely agitated whenever he caught her talking to someone not himself or worse, when she was flirting with the male teachers, that got to him the most. Once or twice, he even got so mad at her talking to another boy that he had given that boy a thorough beating later in the day. The boy had complained of course, but what could the school do? His father held such a position of wealth and power that none dared to bother him about the minute details of his son's misdemeanor.

He did some push-ups and sit-ups before hopping in the shower. He wanted to look buff today because today's the day he would execute his marvellous plan and then she would be his forever. He grabbed his best pair of school pants and shirt which were always neatly pressed and kept ready for him each morning. He adjusted his tie and checked his hair before putting on his socks and shoes, and then he checked his hair one last time because he knew how impressed she was by the smarter looking boys. He often watched her watching them and smiling her approval at their neat uniforms. He wanted that gaze and that smile all to himself and today was the day he would get it.
The clock on the wall read six fourty, he's better hurry if he was going to be on time. He grabbed his bag and headed down the stairs. The hall was strangely bright and he wondered why all the servants were up so early this morning since his mother never stepped out of her room before noon, perhaps his mother had yet to step in, but that was of little consequence because nothing mattered except getting her.
He made his way down the stairs and into the private dining room which was not only empty, but dark and completely devoid of breakfast. Ever quick to anger, he stormed out of the dining room, across the hall and into the parlor where to his utter surprise, his mother was sitting enjoying a nice glass of brandy and having a lovely conversation with his father. They stopped talking when he entered the room and for a moment, nobody moved or spoke. His mother broke the silence by enquiring after his health, not getting a reply, she went on to tell him about the little fainting incident. It was then that it dawned upon him that it was not six in the morning but in the evening. The curtains in his room were drawn so he didn't know night from day. So, he did faint and she really was leaving! He started to feel light-headed again and quickly plopped himself into the nearest chair. All he could manage was a ragged question about what day it was.
It was all too late then, she was gone from his sight forever. Her contract with the school was over and there was no way to get her contacts now, no way of knowing where she was going. The school would never give out the personal details of a teacher, nor could he use his father's wealth or power to find her since his father would be the very first one to disapprove of their relationship. He could do nothing now but wait for his life to be over.



In His Opinion

He watched as she walked briskly down the narrow corridor, he skirt swishing against her legs as she moved. The sun shone down illuminating her golden highlights which were definitely against the rules.
Saturday

Remembering

I've pretended to forget so often that I no longer remember things. My brain is a sieve through which events and people pass leaving no significance on my soul. Yet why is it I cannot forget you? Why does your image reflect in the mirror of my soul? Who are you and what do you want from me? Why do I know you and yet remember nothing of us? I have so many questions but no answers. I see you in my dreams and hear your voice in my head. I visit places that seem to be familiar, like we've been there before and yet like that elusive thought, it swims quickly out of my grasp. Have I gotten so good at forgetting that I've forgotten to forget some things?
Who are you stranger? Strange friend...Strangely friendly...I've forgotten again.
Monday

Monday's Child

Mother Goose wrote many nursery rhymes but not all of them were simple words, some of them are curses and spells. Here's one of them:

Monday's Child is fair of face
Tuesday's Child is full of grace
Wednesday's Child is full of woe
Thursday's Child has far to go
Friday's Child is loving and giving
Saturday's Child works hard for a living
But the Child born on the Sabath is blithe and bonny and good and gay
She was born on a Monday and she was indeed a beautiful baby. Everyone adored her and there was nothing anyone could deny her nor would they. For 3 happy years she knew the love of adoring parents.
On Wednesday, her parents died in a car crash. She was only 3 years old but even then she knew she'd lost something that was terribly precious. The elders didn't take her to the hospital and they talked in hush tones whenever she was around and then not long after the accident, they dressed her in black and drove her to a lovely garden in a black car. There were many people there and some were crying. She didn't know why they were crying or why no one could tell her where her parents were. It was only after the funeral that a kind lady she knew to be her aunt took her aside and told her what happened. She started to cry then and soon after, every night as well.
After the funeral she went to live with her Godparents who were her parents closest friends. They loved her like their own and never denied her anything. They tried so hard that she decided when she was 6 to stop crying herself to sleep at night.
After her parents death, she gained a sort of melancholic beauty and when she started playschool, the boys and girls in her class were often quick to give her presents just to see her smile. They didn't realise it then but they were trying to erase the sadness they could see in her eyes. All through her school years people kept doing things to try to make her smile and she was happy, though not as happy as before, but she was happy.
The year she began her freshmen year in High School, her Godparents decided to split up. Her Godfather had been having an affair with his secretary for years now and everything was fine until she got pregnant and bore him the son he very much wanted. He filed for a divorce then and her Godmother was devastated, she never believed he would actually leave her. He granted her the custody of their god-daughter and the apartment in which they were living. He also agreed to continue to pay for all their living expenses. Her Godmother became an alcoholic overnight and kept to her room until she started to smell. Her Godfather became a weekend dad and he no longer spent time alone with her, whenever they met it would be with his new family. At 13, she'd gained maturity beyond her age but she didn't age as most kids would and she also didn't gain a hardness that most children of divorces would. She never complained and she never cried. Instead, she spent her days in school working hard and taking part in school activities and her nights wiping vomit off the face of her Godmother.
The sadness in her eyes grew and she took on an ethereal beauty that caused boys to be in awe of her and also made her the first freshmen ever to be asked to the prom. But no one ever got jealous of her simply because sad things just kept happening around her causing an air of melancholy to settle around her and how could anyone possibly be jealous of that. Plus, she was an absolute angel in the face of all her tragedies. She continued to be the sweet and kind person she always was. Soon, she became the darling of the school and all the teachers and students loved her, but only from a distance for they too realised that she was cursed and her beauty was the mark of the curse. So despite being surrounded by admirers, she was always alone.
Happiness was always a fleeting emotion to her and sorrow became her familiar friend.

Eventually, she grew up as all little girls do and moved to a big city where no one knew of her tragic past. She rented an apartment in Chinatown and got a job as a museum curator assistant. She lived her days in quiet solitude, spending most of her time in the museum and the rest of it in the library. She read a lot and wrote many letters to her friends back home. One day, a letter came from her Godmother. She had gotten herself off the alcohol and met a wonderful man, they were to get married in Spring. It was then that she felt that perhaps tragedy only followed her and that if she stayed away from the people she loved, then they would never get hurt. She made a vow then to stay away from her Godmother and so wrote a long letter to excuse herself from attending the wedding but wished her all her love.
Time passed quickly in the big city and one day, she found herself celebrating her 30th birthday in the park with pigeons and the loneliness she stored inside finally came out and soon she found herself sobbing. That's when she met him.

end of part one...