Rain

She sits alone in a darken room. A single candle illuminating her face. In the background the stereo plays the sad songs which echo the ache in her heart. Outside the rain is coming steadily down soaking everything in sight. Staring out into the night, the woman wishes she could cry but her pride would not let her and so she sits and contemplates her sadness in the dark, her tears dry up with each thought she creates and evaporates into the night.

How did she get here, how did she manage to end up alone again, with nothing but the dark and the cold for company?

The darkness of the room contrasts starkly with the sunshine in her mind as she recalls happier days. A show she once watched said that people were not meant to endure loneliness but she has survived years of being by herself though it was not always so. When her lover left, she pulled herself together and made the dark her companion and the cold her friend. She never gave in, not even for a second to the unbearable pain of being alone. She fought tears of desperation day after day until one day, they just dried up....evaporated into the night. She knew then that the worst was over.

The rain was coming to a stop, it stopped as suddenly as it started. Perhaps that was just Heaven's way of expressing the way she felt. She looked out into the night, at the cars that drove past her house on their way home, to someone they loved or perhaps to some party. The streets are empty for a while and then another car and another, going places. The clock ticks the seconds loudly as they pass, soon she shakes off the heavy weight of melancholy and walks over to the stereo. She turns it off and blows out the candle. For a moment there is just her and the dark with only the ticking of the clock for company. A flick of her hand invites light which floods the room and momentarily blinds her. Her hand finds the remote and the senseless buzzing of the television fills the room and numbs her senses.

Something lost

stolen by the information highway...lost in cyberspace somewhere is a piece of work, a bit of soul, a part of me.
Gone forever and a nanosecond.

Conversations with Death

Death: Oh hello. I didn't see you just now.
me: So what's new? Nobody sees me..ever!
Death: Woah, that's a lot of anger. Why so mad?
me: I don't know. I just have a lot of frustration waiting to explode and they always end up coming out at the most inappropriate times.
Death: So what do you want me to do about it?
me: Nothing. I don't want you or anyone to do anything. I just want all these anger to go away. I want to know where they came from and how I can make them all go away! Sometimes I wish I was dead so that I wouldn't have to feel this way.
Death: Dead huh? I could help you with that, but are you sure that's what you really want?
me (thinking): No, not really. Maybe death isn't the right thing to want. What I truly want is to un-exist. I want to have never been born or created or whatever!
Death: What makes you think non-existence would be better than the state you are in now?
me: What state am I in now?
Death: Hmmm....the state which you don't want to be in.
me: yeah that sounds about right.
Death: thank you.
me: Hey how about a game of checkers?
Death: I'm not too good at that.
me: Well, how about snakes and ladders or monopoly?
Death: Let's do SNL, monopoly will just go on for all eternity.
me: (laughs) SNL it is!
Death: (picks up the dice and gets ready to roll)
me: hey! Maybe I should roll for you and you for me. Let's see how that works out eh?
Death: interesting, I've never done that before. Ok...give it your best shot!
me: (rolls dice) look at that! Snake eyes!
Death: (rolls eyes) You're so dramatic!
me: yeah so are you complaining?
Death: me? (innocent look) NEVER!
me: Good! Now less talking and more rolling!
Death: (rolls dice) SEVEN.